Home

After two days of painting (two long days – fourteen hours one day and seven hours the next), a day of carrying boxes and furniture up two flights of stairs, and several days of unpacking (including carrying boxes back down three flights of stairs to the basement)….we’re all moved in! Almost everything is unpacked and put away (just one more box to sort through…), paintings hung, books on the shelves.

As we pulled into the driveway Sunday evening with one of the final vanloads, the song “This is Home” by Switchfoot (from the Prince Caspian soundtrack) came on the radio. The timing was perfect and made us smile.

This is home. It’s true. Even before we moved in, this house began to feel more like home than anywhere we’ve lived since we got married.

That longing for home has been deep inside me for a while. Not a longing for the place where I grew up (which doesn’t really feel like home anymore) but that ache to put down roots somewhere. I remember one afternoon in particular, in the spring of 2007, sitting on a blanket in the sunshine in front of the Marwood house, longing to finally slow down, settle down, and make it home. I’d moved three times that past year and watched by life turn completely around. I felt constantly in transition. I felt worn out. I dreamed of a garden, of a cat, of putting little touches around the house to make it feel more like mine and not just a place I stayed. I was homesick for a sense of permanence. But at the same time, I was acutely aware of its lack of permanence, knowing that God was preparing to send me elsewhere. And though I stayed there for over a year after that (the longest I’ve lived anywhere since I moved out of my parents’ house), it never feel like home.

Home. It’s an interesting, complex word. What exactly makes somewhere home? What makes you feel like you’ve come home? The definition seems to encompass so much more than just the place you choose to live, your “usual residence”. One of the definitions on dictionary.com is “the place in which one’s domestic affections are centered.” That edges a bit closer. It touches on our hearts. Something about the idea of home feels directly tied to our hearts, to where our hearts find refuge and belonging.

Maybe that’s why this feels like home already. Something about this house seems to invite our hearts to pursue their calling. It’s settled securely in a neighborhood in need of the transforming love of God, the kind of neighborhood we want to live and minister in long-term. We’re surrounded by life and community that welcomes guests, calls forth hospitality. When we walked around the neighborhood the other evening, I noticed at least four empty lots that could become a community garden. There’s a second bedroom next to ours on the third floor that could be filled with kids someday and a park down the street. And there’s the downstairs unit, occupied now, but perhaps someday (and here I’m just dreaming) we could rent that, too, for the daycare I plan to start or the neighborhood prayer room we’ve talked and dreamed about. It feels like we have room to dream here, room to grow. It feels less temporary.

But even here, though I feel more settled, more at home in this lovely old house, with it’s luxury of color (bright, cheerful colors with names like “honeybird”, “blue jewel,” and – my favorite – “glorious gold”), I’m reminded that, ultimately, this is not our true home. This home, beautiful and comfortable though it is, isn’t the ultimate goal. As Hebrews 11 talks about, we desire “a better homeland, a heavenly one” and Jesus is preparing our true home, even now (see John 14:2-3). Abba, help me hunger more deeply for that true, heavenly home!

In a way, it feels like this house, with its vibrant colors and ample sunshine, reminds me of that. It pulses with the invitation of God to come home, to our true home, our ultimate refuge, to come to Him where we truly find home. Even that first night, as I unpacked in the kitchen, my head was filled with pictures of sitting at the kitchen table, with coffee in hand, a bible open in front of me, and the morning light streaming onto the yellow walls. And so Tuesday morning, I sat with my bible and journal and talked to God about home. In the other room I could hear Derek playing guitar, his own bible and journal next to him. Perhaps (I hope) he feels that call home to our Abba, too.

Perhaps that’s the Word of God to us in this season: home. Even Tuesday night at prayer we prayed for home, for people in the city to find a sense of home. And in so many ways, I feel drawn to home here, home to God, home to our calling and purpose, home to who we were created to be, called to both make a home and find home, and to lead others home. It’s a nice feeling, a peaceful, I’m-finally-where-I-belong feeling of, well, coming home.

This Is Home – Switchfoot

 

I’ve got my memories
Always inside of me
But I can’t go back
Back to how it was
I believe you now
I’ve come too far
No I can’t go back
Back to how it was
Created for a place
I’ve never known

 

 

Chorus:
This is home
Now I’m finally
Where I belong
Where I belong
Yeah, this is home
I’ve been searching
For a place of my own
Now I’ve found it
Maybe this is home
Yeah, this is home

Belief over misery
I’ve seen the enemy
And I won’t go back
Back to how it was
And I got my heart set
On what happens next
I got my eyes wide
It’s not over yet
We are miracles
And we’re not alone

 

(Chorus)

 

And now after all My searching
After all my questions
I’m gonna call it home
I got a brand new mindset
I can finally see The sunset
I’m gonna call it home

 

(Chorus)

 

 

Now I know
Yeah, this is home
I’ve come too far

And I won’t go back
Yeah, this is home

And now, a few pictures of our new home….

Our bedroom:

The upstairs living room:

And the upstairs bathroom:

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10 Comments

  1. KERRY

     /  August 1, 2010

    SO HE RETURNED ‘HOME”TO HIS FATHER, AND WHILE HE WAS STILL LONG WAY OFF, HIS FATHER SAW HIM COMING.. FILLED WITH LOVE AND COMPASSION, HE RAN TO HIS SON, EMBRACED HIM AND KISSED HIM..LUKE16:20;.. GOD USINGYOU BOTH TO GIVE.. LOVE.. FOR PRODICALS… THEY MAY BE A LONG WAY OFF, BUT HE SEES THEM COMING…. BACK “HOME”.. BEAUTIFUL BLOG AND PIC.. GOT SOME OF MY FAV) COLORS 2..BEAUTIFUL….

    Reply
  2. oh, hooray! beccca, this is SO CUTE. what a great job you’ve done. and i love your musings on home and why this place feels more that way than any other thus far. may you BLOOM where you’re planted… becoming a large and spreading tree in and under which many may find shelter.

    Reply
    • Thanks! There’s a little more painting to finish and some more clutter to clear out, but I love how it turned out :-)

      And thank you for the tree picture, too. It’s one that God’s spoken over and over and it always encourages me.

      Reply
  3. Love the colors! Looks beautiful and your descriptions sound like you are right where the Lord wants you. Happy housewarming!

    Reply
  4. 2mannasisters

     /  August 1, 2010

    I just LOVE your blue bathroom. Also, is that original artwork? You have great taste in colors!
    -Marla

    Reply
    • Thanks! I love bright colors and was excited to get to choose our own colors. Fun stuff!

      And yes, it is! The painting over our bed was done by my mom for our wedding (a reminder to us to serve each other), the horse painting in our room is a print of one that my husband’s dad painted, and the one in the bathroom is a pastel drawing from one of my former roommates. We have a couple more paintings, too, that we still need to find places for. I love having artsy family and friends :-)

      Reply
  5. I love your place… and you are an amazing writer. Great hanging out with you last night!

    Reply
  6. I really like the new place glad you guys are feeling more settled.

    Reply

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